Something has been bothering me for a little while now, and I feel compelled to put some thoughts on paper. You may have heard of side A and side B Christians, terms commonly used to describe the two main approaches to Christian sexuality. Side A promoting the idea that you can be an openly gay Christian, and side B teaching a more traditional biblical sexual ethic, of being same-sex attracted but remaining celibate in order to honour God.
Clearly, I do not agree with the side A Christian argument; I believe that the Bible is clear on holy sexuality and homosexuality. You may therefore think that I fall firmly on side B, yet I can tell you that I don't. Why? Because I believe that many proponents of side B theology are missing a fundamental truth. The truth that Jesus is in the business of transforming lives.
Let me try and explain this. Jesus came so that we could have life in its fullest, some translations of the Bible say in abundance. I do not believe that God expects us to put up with second best. By that I mean I don’t think that he wants us to live with an identity that we can't walk in. By calling myself a gay, celibate Christian, am I not putting myself in a position where I will always be troubled and never be fulfilled? As a gay, celibate Christian I'm always going to be answering questions such as, “what do I do with my sexual feelings?”, “how do I express my sexuality in a God honouring way?”, “how do I fit in to a church society that is predominantly heterosexual?” and the inevitable question “Why me Lord?”
If, however, we can take a step towards the renewing of our minds, to see ourselves simply as Christians whom God has forgiven and who wants to give his best to, our mindsets start to shift. I'm not saying that all of a sudden, we start pursuing heterosexuality. What I am saying is that because our hearts are postured towards Jesus above our sexual identity, we can ask him to show us how he defines us and start to live in his truths. In fact, truth be known, I believe there is a danger of many side B Christians finding fulfilment in their identity as ex gay Christians, over and above finding their identity in Christ.
I have personally pursued Jesus on this and I know for sure Jesus doesn't define me by my sexual attractions, which I 100% recognise were a product of many factors of my upbringing. Thankfully Jesus sees me totally differently, and I'm grateful of this, because otherwise it would look like he was leaving me in limbo with an identity that I couldn’t walk, and honour him in, at the same time.
I believe that he gives us our hearts desires and I have started to see Christians of the same mindset as me dating someone of the opposite sex, something they wouldn't have dreamed of just a few years ago. I would argue that it was their shift in mindset that allowed them to dream and opened them to the opportunities God was opening up to them.
But let me be clear, it's not all about dating, what I have also seen is Christians truly at peace with their singleness. These are Christians who have found communities which both support them in their unique journey out of LGBTQ+, and a local church context where they are finding a place of belonging. Christians who are emerging as confident men and women of Christ, pastors, evangelists, prophets, teachers and apostles.
I believe we all are free to make choices as to how we pursue our own faith and I respect everybody’s right to do so and identify as they feel led. But I do want to highlight my belief that God changes us and equips us to live fulfilling lives in line with the identity that he has given us as Christians. We don't have to settle for second best, we don't have to live our lives tied to an identity that once defined us in our sin, we are free to be who God created us to be before sin took a hold and twisted our understanding of God’s truth.
I am neither a side A, nor a side B Christian. I am a Christian pursuing God, excited to walk into new paths, unsure as to what the future holds, but confident that whatever it is there will be no confusion as to where my identity lies.
Who the son sets free is free indeed John 8:36.
Clearly, I do not agree with the side A Christian argument; I believe that the Bible is clear on holy sexuality and homosexuality. You may therefore think that I fall firmly on side B, yet I can tell you that I don't. Why? Because I believe that many proponents of side B theology are missing a fundamental truth. The truth that Jesus is in the business of transforming lives.
Let me try and explain this. Jesus came so that we could have life in its fullest, some translations of the Bible say in abundance. I do not believe that God expects us to put up with second best. By that I mean I don’t think that he wants us to live with an identity that we can't walk in. By calling myself a gay, celibate Christian, am I not putting myself in a position where I will always be troubled and never be fulfilled? As a gay, celibate Christian I'm always going to be answering questions such as, “what do I do with my sexual feelings?”, “how do I express my sexuality in a God honouring way?”, “how do I fit in to a church society that is predominantly heterosexual?” and the inevitable question “Why me Lord?”
If, however, we can take a step towards the renewing of our minds, to see ourselves simply as Christians whom God has forgiven and who wants to give his best to, our mindsets start to shift. I'm not saying that all of a sudden, we start pursuing heterosexuality. What I am saying is that because our hearts are postured towards Jesus above our sexual identity, we can ask him to show us how he defines us and start to live in his truths. In fact, truth be known, I believe there is a danger of many side B Christians finding fulfilment in their identity as ex gay Christians, over and above finding their identity in Christ.
I have personally pursued Jesus on this and I know for sure Jesus doesn't define me by my sexual attractions, which I 100% recognise were a product of many factors of my upbringing. Thankfully Jesus sees me totally differently, and I'm grateful of this, because otherwise it would look like he was leaving me in limbo with an identity that I couldn’t walk, and honour him in, at the same time.
I believe that he gives us our hearts desires and I have started to see Christians of the same mindset as me dating someone of the opposite sex, something they wouldn't have dreamed of just a few years ago. I would argue that it was their shift in mindset that allowed them to dream and opened them to the opportunities God was opening up to them.
But let me be clear, it's not all about dating, what I have also seen is Christians truly at peace with their singleness. These are Christians who have found communities which both support them in their unique journey out of LGBTQ+, and a local church context where they are finding a place of belonging. Christians who are emerging as confident men and women of Christ, pastors, evangelists, prophets, teachers and apostles.
I believe we all are free to make choices as to how we pursue our own faith and I respect everybody’s right to do so and identify as they feel led. But I do want to highlight my belief that God changes us and equips us to live fulfilling lives in line with the identity that he has given us as Christians. We don't have to settle for second best, we don't have to live our lives tied to an identity that once defined us in our sin, we are free to be who God created us to be before sin took a hold and twisted our understanding of God’s truth.
I am neither a side A, nor a side B Christian. I am a Christian pursuing God, excited to walk into new paths, unsure as to what the future holds, but confident that whatever it is there will be no confusion as to where my identity lies.
Who the son sets free is free indeed John 8:36.
Recent
Archive
2024
February
November
December
2023
January
February
March
August
September
November
2022
September
October
November
Categories
Tags
1 Corinthians 6
24 hours of prayer
Baptism
Bible teaching
Christian art
Christian
Church
CofE
Daniel 4
Emily Sargent
Fitting in
Highest authority
Jesus is the way
John 8
LGBTQ+
LGBT
Leicester
New Creation
Progress Pride Flag
Psalm 139
Pure Joy
Rev12 Project
SSA Christians
SSA Christian
SSA teenagers
SSA
TBGL
The Times
abbas heart
accountability
affirming church
bible study for parents
biblical sexual ethic
blessed
born gay
born this way
brotherlylove
build the wall
calling
celibate christian
children and pride
christian parents
christian response to Pride
christian teenagers
christian teen
church and same sex marriage
church and sexuality
church deceived
church leaders
church training
codependency
come out
coming out
conversations about sexuality
conversion therapy ban
conversion therapy
discipleship
emotional dependency
faith and sexuality
false teaching
find Jesus
former LGBTQ
former LGBTQ
freedom in christ
freedom of religion
gay affirming
gay celibate christian
gay children
gay christian
gay teenager
glory to glory
hell
homosexuality
hope shouts louder
humility
idolatry
inclusive church
indoctrination
intercessory prayer
jesus
joanne highley
john 1:2-4
john 3:16
justiceforchristians
labels
lgbtq prodigals
lgbtq
love is love
love your neighbour
matthew 5:11
ministry
new identity
once gay
overcoming sin
parenting in faith
parents of prodigals
pastoral care
peer support
persecution
powerofprayer
poweroftestimony
prayer wall
prayer
praying for LGBTQ
praying for our children
praying for prodigals
pride
prodigals
prodigal
progressive church
psalm 18
reflecting god
relative truth
responding to Pride
retreat
rev12project
rev12
roots of SSA
safe and welcoming church
same sex attraction
same sex marriage
same sex relationships
samesexfriendship
sex and relationships
sexual fluidity
sexual identity
sexual immorality
sexual sin
sexuality and faith questions
sexuality and faith
side a christian
side b christian
single friendly church
small group
smoke and mirrors
space to meet God
spacious place training
spacious place
spiritual armor
spiritual armour
spiritual warfare
such a time as this
such were some of you
teenager
temptation
testimony
thinking straight
transformation
transformed by gods love
transformed family
transformed international
transformed ministries
transformedbygodslove
transformedministries
transformed
transgender in church
transgender
trans
true freedom
truth
uncommon love bible study
uncommon love
welcome church
what did Jesus say
what is truth
why me
woman in adultery