Warring Parents

Christian parents sometimes ask us what do they do when their child comes out as gay or Trans?  I suggest that two things are essential:

  • Love unconditionally
  • Go into your prayer closet and start warring in the Spirit

If you think about it, your child has gone through an incredible struggle to get to the point of telling you.  They have almost certainly warred with themselves, shed a lot of tears, suffered much confusion and for the past few weeks they would have been very anxious about telling you, particularly if they themselves are Christians.  So, jumping off the deep end, being angry, in denial, confrontational or withdrawn are simply responses that are off the table.  Your response has to be to love them where they are at.  If you want them to continue to confide in you, to continue to have a relationship with you, and with Jesus, your response is vital.

I was reading an account this week of one such parent who said this, “we cannot minister love and rejection at the same time.”  What wise words, if we reject our children because of their choices, how can we demonstrate God’s love to them and their friends.
I’m not saying you have to compromise your beliefs, of course not, simply embrace your child in unconditional love, and when they ask questions of your beliefs be honest in a way that clearly spells out your beliefs but doesn’t impose those beliefs on them. Don’t make this a battle, don’t keep the topic of sexuality or gender on the table, once they know your beliefs, you don’t have to make it all about you!  We have a God who works on people’s hearts, we have a God who loves and who has seen their journey from start to finish.  Who better to ask to do the work of conviction, while you focus on unconditional love?

And this is where the work in the prayer closet begins, you need to go to war for your child.  I am currently working with the parent of a young man who is gay and exploring his Christian faith.  She is an avid prayer warrior and we pray weekly for him.  The strategy of prayer is working, she is free of the anxiety she once carried to try and convince him of his need to change.  She can relax and be Mum with him, yet in prayer she turns into a warring momma who casts all her cares on the Lord and trusts in His power.  This in turn has given her a new and fresh relationship with the Lord, she has a renewed trust, she has remembered God’s promises spoken over her son from childhood and is now claiming them in faith.
Prayer is a powerful weapon, do not grow weary of holding up your child in prayer.  Find a prayer partner or prayer group, don’t warfare alone.  Here at Transformed Ministries we have a prayer wall with names of prodigals.  If you want us to pray for your child, please send us just their first name via email to tbglministry@gmail.com with the subject line Prayer Wall and we will ensure they are added and prayed for regularly.