Asking why of God- accusatory or inquisitive?

Something struck me afresh this morning as I was reading the book of Job.  It's OK to ask “why?” questions, but all too often we turn our questions against God in an accusatory way. When you consider all the people affected by questions of sexuality and faith, you see that many have, ‘why?’ questions.  

When I first came to faith, I questioned God vociferously, constantly querying why I was born gay.  There are many parents asking the same question of God, why has my child followed this route, why has this happened to our family?  Why, why, why?

Asking God the question ‘why?’, is important for us all and an aid in helping us to process our feelings, our hurts and our fears.  But the way we ask can be so important.  When I first questioned God, I was angry with Him.  “Why did you make me this way?”, an accusation thrown at Him as if he was a mean and evil God.  How can you be loving when you give me these feelings and then tell me I can't act on them, is that the mark of love?
 
Rather, Job comes at his questioning from a different angle, a position that says, I know that you are good God, I know that you are not evil or malicious, I will not curse you.  Despite his wife encouraging him to curse God, he refused, holding on to the truth of who he knew God to be.

I didn't really know God when I first started accusing him, but as I grew to know and love him, my questions changed.  What happened in my life Lord, how did I lose sight of you, why would I walk away from your best for me?  As my reasoning and understanding of God changed, so my questions became less accusatory and more inquisitive.  Out of His grace and mercy, God answered my questions, showing His love for me.  It was a much better place for me to be in, I no longer held unforgiveness or bitterness towards God, and finally was in a better place to hear Him and trust in His responses.

As an individual who experiences same-sex attraction you might be in a place of questioning, “why me God?”  I encourage you to reflect on what you want from that question.  Do you want a god who apologises for getting it wrong, a god who fits into the box that you've made for him.  Would you not rather have a god who meets with you and gently guides you,  A god who helps you to understand the factors that were at play in your life which created the circumstances you find yourself in now.  Is your ‘why’ coming from a place of wanting your anger and sense of unfairness to be endorsed, or is it coming from a place of really wanting to know what God says and thinks about your circumstances?

Parents, I'm sure that you feel a desperate need to understand why your child, who you have brought up in the faith, has rejected God.  Some of you have probably even questioned whether your child could possibly have been born that way, and that’s OK.  God doesn't mind those questions, He doesn't shy away from difficult questions, but let's question from a place that recognise the brokenness of the world we live in.  Questions that come from a position of, my God is good and his ways are perfect, Questions that consider, ‘what does this situations tell me?’  and ‘how can God help me come to a place of understanding?’

Asking why is good. It’s healthy and often helpful.  We are born with inquisitive minds, so let’s not shy away from asking these difficult questions, but I encourage you to do it from a place of security in the goodness of God.