“Speak Early and Speak Often About Our Identity — With Age in Mind”

We’re living in a time where conversations around sexuality and gender are everywhere—from schools and social media to TV shows and friendship groups. Young people today are not just hearing these topics discussed—they’re being asked to define themselves by them.

For the Church, this presents both a challenge and an opportunity: How do we talk to our children and teens about sexual and gender identity in a way that’s age-appropriate, biblically grounded, and deeply loving? How do we create space for honest questions, while pointing them toward the unchanging truth of God?

Here’s how churches can begin that conversation well.

1. Speak Early and Speak Often—With Age in Mind
Waiting until a young person is in crisis or confusion isn’t a strategy—it’s a reaction. Churches must start conversations early, building a positive, biblical vision for identity, relationships, and purpose.

For younger children, this might look like:
* Teaching that we’re created by God—on purpose, with a purpose.
* Using age-appropriate language about our bodies and the goodness of God's design.
* Reinforcing that their identity is rooted in being a child of God—not in labels or cultural categories.

For teens, the conversation can go deeper:
* Discuss the pressures they face online and in peer groups.
* Create safe spaces for open dialogue without fear of shame or dismissal.
* Acknowledge complexity while holding to Scripture’s clarity on sex, gender, and identity.

Remember: silence creates a vacuum that culture will fill. Let the church be a trustworthy voice first.

2. Lead With Empathy, Not Judgment
It’s easy to panic when a young person expresses questions or feelings about their sexuality or gender. But fear-based responses often push them away rather than draw them into truth.
Instead, listen well. Ask honest questions. Avoid labeling or assuming.
Churches must model Jesus’ approach—He was never afraid of people’s stories, and He always led with compassion before correction.

3. Offer Real Support, Not Just Theology
Talking about truth is essential—but truth alone isn’t enough. Young people struggling with identity issues need more than a Bible verse—they need community, support, and pastoral care.

Churches should:
* Train youth leaders and mentors to walk closely with young people navigating these topics.
* Have clear, compassionate policies that protect young people but also disciple them with care.
* Know where to signpost young people for community and support.

If someone in your youth group opens up, they need to know they won’t be gossiped about, shamed, or sidelined—they’ll be supported, loved, and guided with grace.

4. Build a Strong Community That Models the Gospel
Young people are not just looking for answers—they’re looking for belonging. Many are drawn to LGBTQ+ spaces because they offer identity, affirmation, and community.

So the Church must ask: are we offering something better?

Let your youth group be a place where:
* Friendships are real and deep.
* Leaders are safe and trustworthy.
* Everyone is reminded they’re known and loved by God, no matter what they’re walking through.

Community is where discipleship happens—not just in sermons, but in relationships.

5. Speak God’s Truth with Courage and Kindness
Yes, the Church must speak clearly on God’s design for sex, gender, and identity. But tone matters as much as content.

Don’t preach at young people—speak with them. Be honest about the counter-cultural nature of Christian belief. Be open about your own questions and struggles. Always bring the conversation back to the bigger story: that we are more than our feelings, desires, or struggles—we are loved, redeemed, and called to follow Jesus in every part of life.

Conclusion: Truth and Love Walk Together
Talking to young people about sexual and gender identity isn’t about winning an argument—it’s about guiding them to Jesus. The world is loud. Confusion is real. But God’s Word is good, and His love is steady.

As churches, our calling is to be places where young people find both truth and belonging, clarity and compassion. If we can walk with them—not just talk at them—we may find they’re more open to God’s voice than we realise.

Let’s be the kind of Church that speaks clearly, listens deeply, and loves like Christ.